Seeking Authentic Relationships

Seeking Authentic Relationships

Friendship and accountability are keys to having a growing and effective LIFE! Group. Often these two factors seem to be polar opposites which need to be put into balance. The challenge is how to bring these two together in your group.

Friendship is a great thing but surface friendships are usually built on convenience, comfort and camaraderie. You have lots of fun playing together, watching movies or TV and just chatting. Friends may even bring food for parties and gatherings or provide food when you are sick. But friendships built only on convenience and casual connection fall short of community. There must be more to a relationship for real growth and maturity in Christ to occur.

Accountability is also a great thing. People need accountability in order to grow and be stretched, to fulfill responsibilities and meet new challenges. It is where someone can really look into your heart and express concern for your spiritual well being. But a relationship built heavily on accountability will not last if there is never any fun and friendship.

They key to bringing friendship and accountability together is building authentic relationships. Accountability, built on trust and love, turns connection into community and moves people from surface friendships to authentic relationships. Authentic relationships allow people to meet their emotional need for friends while allowing others to challenge them to meet their spiritual needs. It allows for open and deep sharing which leads to support and true healing.

So how do we create authentic relationships in our groups. Below you will are some initial steps and guidelines to building authentic relationships. Note that there are 3 steps that your group needs to take until true accountability can take place.

• To know and be known. This step occurs as your group is getting acquainted, so that each persons story is told and known. This is the beginning point for friendships and will provide the basis for accountability as your group becomes more open.
  
• To love and be loved. Small groups really begin moving toward authentic relationships when members encounter their first moments of relational discomfort. When they find out things they don’t like about other members but choose to love them anyway.
  
• To serve and be served. A real good test of your group is how the group responds to a crisis or time of need for one of the members. Are the others willing to serve and support another member when life turns against them?
  
• To admonish and be admonished. This is a very hard step but nevertheless a very necessary component to authentic relationships. It is speaking a tough truth in love or delivering a rebuke. Again it is can only be done when members feel safe and loved by the group.
  
• To celebrate and be celebrated. Take time to celebrate what God is doing in and through your group, both for individual members and for your as a whole. Point out and celebrate these spiritual victories.

Pursuing these five practices will put your group on the path to authentic relationships but remember that it all starts with you. Your group will only be as authentic as you are willing to be and as you model authenticity and love, your group will follow.